Im going to dp the morning pages on this because itll make me do it. So i woke up at a decent time and i went to bed at a reasonable time. Now the next step would be to have a reasonable breakfast. If parents money goes through then i will go to the cafe and read my paper then i will see what is on at the courtauld because its free after 10 and iv never been there. I am feeling less bleak. I will do the next cycle of the artists way. I am really really really irritated with woodhouse. It is v hard to blame people for the suituation but they had to do so little to make me so much better at zero cost to themselves. It is extraordinarilly frustrating. I even resolved on a level to not being chair although that was appalling and to not getting a part. If i was involved in a key backstage role i would feel wanted and needed but i feel cast out at a vulnerable time. I will email along those lines.
There is no excuse. Its just egos and being swayed by younger, newer cooker people it really really is very very silly like with anna and has caused a lot of damage.
Everything was explained to these people.
It is made massively more galling by the times i struggled to b there and by the fact i did what i need for someone else.
Im kind of frozen.
Listening to radio 4.